Bovie Movie

You die on screen playing the prototype video game Staying Alive, then you prepare to meet the same bloody fate in real life. This is the premise of William Brent Bell’s predictable The Ring-goes-X Box chiller, which is set against the over-familiar horror landscape of New Orleans and centres on the quest of a group of friends to find the ancient evil that has possessed their consoles. That the police ignore the group’s crazy explanation despite clear evidence; that lovers make out amid the supernatural mayhem; and that characters utter lines such as “I can’t believe this is happening!”, only adds to the lame-brained, clichéd ennui. Pre-gore cutaways (to secure a wider audience) sink any shock value, while the sound effects — reliant on joystick controls buzzing like an electric razor — are lazy. Even the game’s computer graphics refuse to summon up the requisite gothic frisson. 

Heard the one about the orphan zebra who thinks he’s a racehorse and enters the Kentucky Open? No? Then take one unsophisticated Babe clone, add a dollop of Seabiscuit sentiment, stir in a positive message and you have Racing Stripes. Director Frederik Du Chau’s comedy uses the trick of live animals with CGI mouths to lip-synch the broad one-liners, but this yarn tries too hard to appeal to all members of the family. Some of the in-jokes will undoubtedly go over younger children’s heads (“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in”, hams Joe Pantoliano’s gangster pelican), while the toilet gags (courtesy of two horseflies) prove way too juvenile for adults. Although well served by its human actors (Bruce Greenwood, Hayden Panettiere and Wendie Malick) and voice cast (which features Dustin Hoffman, Frankie Muniz and Whoopi Goldberg), this remains a charmless, predictable and rather dated confection. 

Take the traditional plotline and gadgets of a James Bond movie, add a teen heart-throb from American TV, throw in some cheeky laughs and you’ve got a tasty recipe for a boisterous and enjoyable family romp. More reality-based and character driven than its closest equivalent, the SPYkids franchise, this action-packed tale focuses on Malcolm in the Middle’s Frankie Muniz, here playing a high-school student who’s also an undercover CIA agent. Grabbing the attention from the outset with a dramatic skateboard chase involving a runaway car, the film continues to pick up pace as Muniz gets his first assignment — to befriend class beauty Hilary Duff and spy on her scientist father (Martin Donovan). Though some of the story elements are a little hard to swallow (particularly Lovejoy’s Ian McShane as a psychotic villain), there’s enough humour and excitement to carry the picture.