Bovie Movie

This movie starts out relatively straight with a diamond heist that goes wrong. Everything seemingly normal and slightly tedious, I thought.

The film then slides slowly by inches down the path towards B-movie insanity. The odd thing is, the weirder, gorier and more ridiculous things get, the funnier and more enjoyable it becomes as well.

This is not a dumb film and there is a consistent and thought out story that appears on film, despite the odd silly “rubber chicken” prop moment.

I didn’t have any qualms about the acting as the cast did a fantastic job staying in (dodgy Russian) character.

Whilst Brad does a good job keeping the audiences sympathy, supported ably by the very foxy Jamie Murray, a horror movie is only as good as its villains. They don’t disappoint and for me are the real stars of this movie with Boris the security guard running a very close second.

Alex (Geoff Bell, The Business) masterminds an ambitious plan to steal millions of untraceable cash that is stacked in the underground vaults of The London Exchange Bank, waiting for its last journey, Incineration. Lucky (Vas Blackwood, Lock Stock) Matty (Leo Gregory, Stoned) Terry (Johnny Harris, London to Brighton) Chubby (Paul Nicholls, The Trench) Norman (Justin Salinger, Hitler) and Jay (Robert Boulter, The Long Firm) make up his unlikely gang of robbers. Setting up their alibi, the gang check in for a flight and join in with thousands of England supporters that are part of a mass exodus to The World Cup Tournament in Germany. Instead of passing through to Departure Lounge, the gang head out to the car park, pile into a van and head for Central London where they spectacularly ram raid London Exchange Bank, blocking any exit for those caught up inside. But with an unexpected turn of events, their plan is hampered from the start and they are left with a whole lot more than just a bank robbery to deal with. They have twenty hostages inside and the Police have laid siege to The Bank. There are two and a half hours before their plane leaves, and seventy million pounds in hard cash to steal. A daunting task, even for the most seasoned Blagger!

The movie “Hooligans” also known as “Gobshite” is a dark comedy about a slightly demented English gangster who has upset the underworld pecking order by deciding he wants a bigger piece of the pie. He devises a scheme to get what he wants but must travel to a sleepy, seaside community in Ireland. As a cover for his plan he needs to acquire a local Irish family’s pub to promote a new brand of beer. Problems occur when the rightful owners of the pub put up more of a fight for their livelihood, than expected.

The classic Burt Reynolds football-behind-bars flick The Longest Yard crosses the pond and gets an appropriate British accent in the process in this rough-and-tumble mixture of sports and action-comedy. Danny Mehan (Vinnie Jones) was one of the biggest stars in British football (what Americans call soccer), until he was caught rigging a game during a championship tournament. In the wake of this scandal, Danny’s career takes a nosedive and his life spins out of control, until he finally ends up in prison for three years on an assault and battery conviction. Danny discovers there are a number of football fans behind bars who still hate him for fixing the game, but Danny has one powerful fan in this prison. The warden (David Hemmings) is a devoted football supporter with a taste for gambling; he’s been trying to assemble a semi-pro team comprised of the prison’s guards, but Danny is just smart enough to know this would seal his fate with his fellow prisoners. Instead, he offers to put together a team of inmates, who can play practice games against the guards. A new inmate, Sykes (John Forgeham), gets wind of Danny’s idea and arranges an exhibition match between Danny’s new team and the guards, though Sykes’ motivation is more than just good fun. A powerful bookie, Sykes lost a fortune on the game Danny threw, and expects betting to be heavy for this game. If Danny and his men win, Sykes could make back the fortune he lost, but if the guards come out ahead, Danny’s goose is cooked. Can Danny turn a gang of losers, misfits, and violent psychopaths — including muscle-bound lunatic Monk (Jason Statham), creepy but loyal Billy the Limpit (Danny Dyer), tough guy Massive (Vas Blackwood), pyromaniac Nitro (Robbie Gee), and enthusiastic but out-of-shape Raj (Omid Djalili) — into a proper team with a fighting chance of winning? Mean Machine was produced by Matthew Vaughn, who was also behind Guy Ritchie’s tough-but-stylish crime comedies Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. Star Vinnie Jones, by the way, enjoyed a career as a professional footballer in Great Britain before turning to acting.

If you think Scarface in Spain but with cockneys you’re half way there! From the beginning its clear that this is a first rate British film. If your not hooked from the frantic opening then the 80s music will definitely get your attention! The film tells the story of Frankie, a Londoner with no prospects. After he kills his mothers abusive boyfriend he flees to Spain to lie low and so begins his new life. There he is taken in by Charlie, a club owner and local gangster. Frankies now living the high life, but with power comes greed and danger, and you could so easily lose it all…