Bovie Movie

In light of 2001’s Pearl Harbor, this megabucks popcorn-spiller from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay is revealed to be a witty, postmodern exercise (by comparison anyway). There’s a meteor “the size of Texas” heading for Earth — as indeed there was in Deep Impact, released the same year — and it’s up to Bruce Willis and his motley oil-drilling gang (“the Wrong Stuff”) to blast off and save us all. In hallmark Bruckheimer style, it’s flashy, overwrought and excessive, but there’s a knowing irony in the committee-written script and in the performances of Willis, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi. The love subplot is a low point but, within such an expert thrill ride, it’s not the end of the world. 

The car’s the star in this boys-and-their-toys action drama that, unfortunately, has too little action to cover for the absence of plot. Nicolas Cage plays a reformed car thief who agrees to pull off an impossible job — steal 50 top-of-the-range cars in four nights — for bad guy Christopher Eccleston, in return for his brother Giovanni Ribisi’s life. Cage ropes in his old crew — including ex-flame Angelina Jolie and silent-but-deadly Vinnie Jones — for the job, but it’s over an hour before we get any stealing or crashing of any description. There’s a nice chase at the end, but the deficiencies in the storyline drive it headfirst into a cul-de-sac of unrealised tension. 

Few 68-year-old actors would turn down a chance to enjoy old-fashioned heist high jinks with the undeniably beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones, and here Sean Connery obviously revels in doing just that. The set-up is familiar for anyone who saw the remake of The Thomas Crown Affair — female insurance investigator goes after gentleman thief. And although it suffers in comparison, being a less stylish and intelligent film, this romantic thriller still manages to combine plenty of tension with wry humour, and the robbery scenes are mechanical yet effective. 

Based on the Marvel comic of the same name, this faithful take obliterates the 1989 Dolph Lundgren version. The feature debut of Die Hard with a Vengeance’s screenwriter Jonathan Hensleigh, it’s loud, fast and extremely vicious. Deep Blue Sea star Tom (then Thomas) Jane plays former FBI special agent Frank Castle, who turns vigilante when his family is gunned down on the orders of Florida Mob boss John Travolta. Dressed literally to kill in the antihero’s trademark skull-emblazoned T-shirt, Jane has the cool air of a superhuman rock star as he orchestrates the darkest of retributions. There’s no let up in the destruction and violence, nor is there any semblance of reality. The film’s every element, from costumes to scenery, seems to be engineered for ultimate ocular effect, while even reliable actors such as Rebecca Romijn-Stamos are eclipsed by Travolta’s excessive theatrics. Consequently, although the murder sequences of Castle’s wife and son are painfully tragic, there’s no real emotion, only visual spectacle, in everything that follows. 

There’s more than a touch of vanity about this overlong futuristic epic from Kevin Costner, which will surely test the patience of his most ardent fans. Costing over $100 million and grossing less than $20 million in America, this Waterworld on dry land has gone down as one of Hollywood’s biggest flops. It’s a slightly barmy allegory about the need for communication, in which Costner drifts across a post-apocalypse America claiming to be a postman with 15-year-old mail. As director, Costner ensures that every shot shows him in a flattering light, even when mouthing unintentionally hilarious dialogue.