Bovie Movie

Hostel director Eli Roth’s genre-friendly Raw Nerve film group makes its gore-soaked splash with director Tim Sullivan’s kitchy remake of Hershell Gordon Lewis’ southern-fried splatter-fest. A drunken group of hard partying college-kids are in for a Spring Break they’ll never forget when they take a tragic detour through the small southern town of Pleasant Valley. Greeted by the overzealous mayor (Robert Englund) and promised a wild time at the town’s annual barbecue celebration, the initially-hesitant teens soon agree to spend the night when the citizen’s down-home hospitality simply becomes too much to resist. But things are not what they seem in the timeless town of Pleasant Valley, and as the thrill seeking students begin to disappear one-by-one in the most gruesome of fashions, it soon becomes obvious that they are to be the main ingredient in Pleasant Valley’s most tasty tradition.

Now I respect the guy for making the effort, and yeah it was interesting to see how the film makers tried to get over the technical difficulties and the like, but honestly, I swear to god, this was the worst film I have ever ever seen. And I can’t even say why! It should have worked, everything was there, but it just seemed to miss the mark, consistently. Now, I would recommend this film for aspiring filmmakers as an example how to bypass certain budgeting restrictions, as in this respect, it did work, but as an actual movie? No thanks. It was like some parody of student films. There was some interesting camera work, but then, and especially in the dialogue scenes, there was the most awful,awful talking heads thing going on, the most static and boring shots I have ever seen in a motion picture. Now I imagine it was all shot on DV camera, and there have been some interesting things done in DV, and certainly, I think it should be considered the way of the future. I mean you only have to look at some of David Lynch’s work, and especially inland empire, to see just what can be done in the medium, but it is unredeemed dreck like this, which consistently mark DV, and DV film-makers as amateur, when it needn’t be! Please,please, to the film-maker: actors, real actors please. INTERESTING shots, especially in scenes of dialogue, something that lifts it a little, and most importantly of all, get a screenplay that says something new about the human condition. Budget restrictions needn’t be restrictions on the quality of the drama! of the uplifting experience that comes from learning something new about ourselves through drama.

Nora Zehetner, Gabrielle Rose, and Matthew Settle co-star in the direct-to-video horror picture Beneath. The film concerns Christy, a sweet-natured and open-faced young girl who hearkens back to her small-town years after an ugly automobile accident. In that incident, Christy — as the driver — caused a wreck that terribly disfigured her older sister. Still traumatized by these events, Christy also suffers from morose apocalyptic visions that seem to be harbingers of future destruction. She must now do everything in her power to prevent the nightmares from materializing.

A crime-scene photographer stumbles onto a horrific discovery when he gets too close to a series of murders linked to a secret S & M ring specializing in blood games. Before he knows it, Daniel (Vincent Bilancio) starts to have strange hallucinations of hideous puppet-creatures appearing before his camera lens. When co-worker’s start questioning his sanity, the hapless hero turns to the bottle and delves deep into the heart of the bondage world, where not everything is as it seems. Softcore bombshell Julie Strain also makes an appearance as a member of a bloody orgy that get chomped on late in the film. Shot on video for next to nothing, Blood Gnome is B-grade erotic horror that should appeal to bottom of the rack video lovers.

The Guardian is set in an upper-class New York apartment building, recently plagued by a series of break-ins and murders. The tenants eagerly enlist the services of former military officer John Mack (Louis Gossett Jr.) as the building’s head of security. Slowly but surely, the tenants give up their freedom of movement to Mack, who runs the place like his own private fiefdom. Bristling over this infringement upon his rights, liberal-minded tenant Charles Hyatt (Martin Sheen) begins to suspect that the killings were orchestrated by Mack himself as a means of gaining power over his employers. Stirring up a respectable amount of suspense, the made-for-cable The Guardian debuted October 20, 1984, over the HBO service.

I think I can safely consider myself to be a fairly open-minded and tolerant horror fan, but there’s one thing I honestly can’t stand: horror comedies that are not funny, nor gory. And unfortunately we happen to see a lot of those lately, especially in the sub genre of ‘zombie movies’ ever since a British instant classic called “Shaun of the Dead” successfully mixed humor with splatter. By now everybody seems to think they’re capable of making a horror comedy and this naturally results in a huge pile of stinking, inept, insufferable and redundant straight-to-video crap. All these untalented filmmakers don’t seem to realize that “Shaun of the Dead” was actually the exception that confirmed the rule: zombies, people coming back from the dead to hunt the flesh of the living are no laughing matter. Like the case in “The Mad”, there’s absolutely nothing even remotely funny about family members getting killed by walking corpses that died after consuming beef infected with the mad cow disease. People will not start to make jokes or have discussions about the definition of a zombie moments after their beloved partners have been reduced to a pile of blood and intestines on the floor! “The Mad” really tries to be hilarious, with its absurd & stereotypical character drawings and clichéd father-daughter-stepmother-punk boyfriend relationship jokes, but it miserably fails. The other elements to create comedy are either totally pathetic (spontaneously attacking hamburgers) or utterly derivative (inbred farmers and banjo music). “The Mad” can’t even distinguish itself from the majority of lame-ass low budget horror junk with a good amount of nauseating splatter, as the make-up effects and massacres are nothing exceptional at all. It’s not a gore-soaked bloodbath and we’re only treated to a couple of mundane zombie-attacks and relatively bloodless annihilations. And then there’s Billy Zane, the “famous” name parading the DVD-cover; hoping to attract more viewers with it. To my surprise I encountered a lot of reviews claiming that his performance was awesome but I, on the other hand, have rarely seen someone acting so uninterested and hammy, and no, I don’t misinterpreted the fact his performance was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. Zane more than obviously wasn’t interested in starring in this piece of junk and he can’t hide it. For crying out loud, Billy! Maybe you desperately needed the money, but if you really don’t want to star in garbage like this, then don’t sign the contract! “The Mad” is a terrible film, not funny, not horrific, not gruesome, nothing to recommend.

The wind whispers ominous warnings of death before a malevolent entity arrives to claim the life of a young girl as director Courtney Solomon brings author Brent Monahan’s chilling, fact-based tale of supernatural murder to the screen in this tale of terror starring Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek. The year was 1818 and the Bell family was a quiet clan residing on a remote farm in Red River, Tennessee. A normal, loving family by all accounts, the uneventful lives of the Bell family began to take a dark turn when strange noises around the farm preceded the arrival of a black wolf with piercing yellow eyes said to strike unspeakable fear into the very soul of all who encounter it. As the sadistic spirit singles out the youngest daughter of the Bell family for torment and her frightened parents search frantically for a rational explanation to the chilling events unfolding in their once happy home, an eerie, disembodied voice promises death from beyond the grave. With the struggle rapidly turning violent and the Bell’s desperate prayers for mercy going unanswered time and again, the shocking murder that followed would prove the only case in recorded American history where the death of a human being was directly attributed to an attack by an evil entity or spirit.

A mute American working on a low-budget movie runs afoul of the Russian mafia in this internationally produced thriller. Billy (Marina Zudina), a special-effects makeup artist who is unable to speak, is in Moscow working on a cheapie slasher flick directed by Andy (Evan Richards), her sister’s boyfriend. Late one night, Billy returns to the set to pick up some equipment and stumbles on what appears to be the filming of an actual snuff film. Watching, unseen, as an “actress” (Olga Tolstetskaya) is bludgeoned to death before her very eyes, Billy flees the set, pursued by the snuff film’s crew. Eventually, she escapes and tells her story to her sister, Karen (Fay Ripley), and Andy. The film crew convinces the police that it was simply some special effects that Billy witnessed, then they start a deadly cat-and-mouse game with the hapless Americans. The intrigue soon leads Billy and her friends to “The Reaper” (Alec Guinness), the shadowy financier of an entire snuff-film underground. Director Anthony Waller’s screenplay for Mute Witness began as a tale of gangsters in 1930s Chicago, but he rewrote it to take advantage of Russia’s analogous present-day climate — and the country’s cheap sets and labor. Unexpected problems, from a diptheria epidemic to unexpected fines at the customs gate, nearly sank the production. The director convinced Guinness to appear in the film several years before principal photography began; the veteran thespian was paid nothing for his scenes, which were shot in a single morning in Germany.

Tobe Hooper, who directed one of the truly iconic American horror films of the 1970s, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, offers his take on another well-remembered scare-fest of the era with this remake. Steve (Brent Roam) and Nell (Angela Bettis) are a young couple living in Los Angeles who are short on money — she’s just started work as a teacher, while he’s a medical student doing his internship. They rent a flat in the Lusman Arms, a once beautiful but now decaying (and therefore affordable) apartment building managed by the sleazy Byron McLieb (Greg Travis), who tries to pass off the ramshackle accommodations as “charming” and “historic.” Watching over the Lusman Arms beside Byron is Ned (Adam Gierasch), a greasy simpleton who serves as the building’s handyman. Steve and Nell haven’t been living at the Lusman especially long when she notices that a growing number of young women living in the building have been meeting a violent death, and with some help from good-hearted part-time actor “Jazz” Rooker (Rance Howard), she begins looking into the murders and makes some disturbing discoveries about both the building management and her fellow tenants.

A vacationing couple makes a terrifying discovery about the motel room they have just checked into in this thriller scripted by Mark L. Smith and directed by Nimr?d Antal (Kontroll). Their car broken down and their prospects for finding a tow-truck driver at such a late hour slim to none, David (Luke Wilson) and Amy Fox (Kate Beckinsale) decide to make the best of their situation by resting out the night at a nearby motel. Left with few choices of entertainment for the evening, the pair soon settles down to enjoy one of the low-budget slasher films sitting atop their motel room VCR. Upon realizing that all of the films seem to have been shot in the very same room they currently occupy, David and Amy suddenly become the stars of a particularly sadistic fright flick. As hidden cameras track their every move, the hapless couple attempt to turn the tables on their would-be killer before they meet the same grim fate as the poor souls being butchered on television. Frank Whaley and Ethan Embry co-star in a thriller that’s sure to keep leery travelers sticking to the main highway.