Bovie Movie

The greatest monster hunter of them all has his work cut out for him as he tracks down three deadly foes in this action-adventure saga. Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a man who has dedicated his life to battling evil forces who exist outside the bounds of nature; Van Helsing’s work has not always made him friends, and a false accusation of murder still trails him. But when he’s summoned to Transylvania at the behest of Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), whose family has been fighting supernatural beings for generations, Van Helsing wastes no time answering her call. There, Van Helsing discovers that the undying vampire Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) has put a misshapen creature named Igor (Kevin J. O’Connor) under his spell, and, in turn, has forged an alliance with a hideous monster (Shuler Hensley) who was created by the misguided Dr. Victor Frankenstein (Samuel West). Adding to Anna’s burden is her brother, Velkan (Will Kemp), a lycanthrope who becomes a bloodthirsty wolf under the light of the full moon. Van Helsing also co-stars Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca, and Josie Maran as Dracula’s vampire brides.

Devastated Peter takes a Hawaii vacation in order to deal with recent break-up with his TV star girlfriend, Sarah. Little does he know Sarah’s traveling to the same resort as her ex … and she’s bringing along her new boyfriend.

Young kids form a club that is devoted to monsters, but soon get more than they bargained for when Count Dracula adjourns to Earth, accompanied by Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, and the Gillman. The uglies are in search of a powerful amulet that will grant them power to rule the world. Our heroes - the Monster Squad are the only ones daring to stand in their way.

The world of freight handlers Wilbur Grey and Chick Young is turned upside down when the remains of Frankenstein’s monster and Dracula arrive from Europe to be used in a house of horrors. Dracula awakens and escapes with the weakened monster, who he plans to re-energize with a new brain. Larry Talbot (the Wolfman) arrives from London in an attempt to thwart Dracula. Dracula’s reluctant aide is the beautiful Dr. Sandra Mornay. Her reluctance is dispatched by Dracula’s bite. Dracula and Sandra abduct Wilbur for his brain and recharge the monster in preparation for the operation. Chick and Talbot attempt to find and free Wilbur, but when the full moon rises all hell breaks loose with the Wolfman, Dracula, and Frankenstein all running rampant.

When a schooner is wrecked off Whitby the only survivor is Count Dracula who has arrived with large amounts of Transylvanian soil to take up residence in Carfax Abbey. He takes the life or Lucy, who is engaged to Dr. Seward, who runs the local asylum. Lucy’s friend Mina, and her fiancé Jonathan Harker, a solicitor, also make contact with Dracula. But almost immediately, Lucy dies from loss of blood, and just possibly this may not be a coincidence. The group calls on the aid of Prefessor Van Helsing, noted supernatural expert, and together they pursue the vampire.

There are a few good things about this movie, but the negatives are so overwhelming that I could only give it a 1 on the ole 1 to 10 scale. The cinematography is very pretty and the miniature set models are excellent. At least I think they’re models. Everything about this movie is so bogus that they may actually be real locations which the directors (yes, it took two directors to cook this turkey) somehow managed to make look like models.

With two directors you’d think that it might only be half-bad. Instead it’s doubly pretentious. The lovely Denise Boutte may well be the hammiest actor on planet Earth. Rhett Giles as Van Helsing looks like a reject from the Pet Shop Boys, and his acting is nearly as overblown and stuffy as Ms. Boutte’s. Every line by just about every “actor” is recited in emo overdrive.